Jan 23, 2023
Recently got invited to a Gujju wedding at a fairly upscale native Gujrati- friends place and had a three day stint at Ahmedabad.
Let me first describe the city as we saw it — -what with Narendra Modi’s claim to fame of making a Shining Gujarat — we had expectations of seeing a brand new city (almost) — last when we went about 5 -7 yrs ago the city did not really leave its mark on the senses.
Well the first thing that was noticeable was the roads — — not only was the road from the airport to the city very well made and maintained (they usually are in most cities- aren’t they) but even the inner city roads were broad , smooth and without any ruts and holes. The three and a half days we were there we travelled on quite a few of the city roads- what with the various wedding function venues, some sight seeing squeezed in and of course the ever present shopping and tasting the local cuisine for at least one meal — believe me we sampled a fair bit of road.
As with any small city which suddenly expands into a huge one many of the city roads were through colonies with houses on each side. (Delhi — at least south Delhi(which is what I mostly experience) is not built like that –we donot have to go on roads through residential colonies to reach different city centres / shopping locales/etc- most wide roads are built at the outskirts of the colonies bypassing the residences at best.
Anyway road quality was great –but the traffic sense and the civic sense — that was something else !!!. Garbage and plastic littered the road side everywhere, the traffic was not too much ( something not experienced in Delhi at all now ) but traffic lights were not many — even major crossroads seemed to be missing them. Everyone drove as they were the only ones driving on the road — -even if they happened to be coming from opposite directions- the two vehicles would come straight on making a violent swerve at the last moment. Impossible to count the times our driver nearly touched the two wheelers on the side or was it the two wheeler guys who came so close that they nearly touched the vehicle- do not know!
Now the wedding — — think Gujarat and to the mind a lot of colour, dance and fun comes to my mind and we were expecting the wedding to be so much more — -but it was really really low key — was it just this family or is this the norm for Gujju weddings )- I do not know but here goes.
The house — of the bride — when we reached was nicely done up –flowers, wedding chitra-kari painted on the courtyard walls, huge decorated pots and handis displayed at corners — very much the shaadi ka ghar — but the noise and hustle bustle of friends and family, the raised voices and dhols and music, the dances all were not there. Not on the bhaat function ( when mam’s side brings gifts to the girls place) and not on the Baithak at home- the eve before the wedding when with all relatives at the brides home. At both places –people were there — dressed as they would for a dinner party ( not a wedding — no bling, no flashy jewellery) — there was no excitement on faces, no loud laughter, no music no dance. The food the bhaat function was good- gujrati specialities (various types of dhokla and a whole lot of different but ummy stuff — donot remember their names) and north indian food mix — but at home for the relatives –it was just falfel rolls- no snacks, no sweet, no drinks — and the party was to wind up by 10.00pm as the family wanted to get a good 8 hrs of sleep before the WEDDING DAY !!!
Is it that the dry state- drinking is illegal — makes the weddings so dry as well. us (8 of us) and the bride’s gang of friends of course harangued the bride’s dad (our friend) for booze. He guaranteed he had arranged for the same…. and then proudly produced One bottle of vodka and one of Chivas (at the baithak function at his residence) and that too he ensured we sat at a corner terrace of his house away for other relatives and he kept asking us to quit drinking and quickly come for dinner through out the evening. Almost seems that Gujrati’s would die of shock if they ever attended a full blooded Punjabi wedding !!!
The Wedding Day — a day wedding. The bride’s side was to assemble by 4.00 pm while the baraat was expected to arrive at 5.00
Everybody and that means EVERYBODY from the bride’s side was there at 4.00 (we reached half an hour later) and we saw that about 50% of the baraati’s had also assembled at their own assembly point. PUNCTUALITY is obviously a much celebrated trait here :).
Dot at 5 to 5.00 the girls side enmasse congregated at the dwaar to welcome the baraat and at dot 5.00 pm the baraat entered. But SANS the GROOM !!!!.
well the groom and his gang had decided to delay their coming but had agreed to allow the rest of the baraat (with elders) to enter in time (we north Indian’s should learn this courtesy and respect for elders). There was no Milni- Milni — Like we have it — but a hugging of the fathers and the baraat came in. Besides the father of the bride and a few other men — none of the girls side escorted the baraatis. We all just stood in readiness to welcome the groom
The girls side had arranged for some Bhangara walas and drummers who in anticipation of the groom played their dhols and danced for some time in anticipation but when the groom’s and his pals did not come their dance and excitement dwindled away too. The staunch women of the family still stood in readiness.
Anyway — after an hour or so of standing in readiness- we heard patakas and faint music could be discerned which over the next good 20 minutes materialized into more crackers, music and a motley crowd (that is how it looked at a distance) was seen where all we could make out clearly was a huge ornamental golden umbrella over the crowd.
Our gang of Punjabi guys woke up and played with gusto — while the young girls and boys of our side danced in step — welcoming the grooms party. Some of the elder in age but young at heart ladies from the baraat came out and joined the grooms party which slowly was coming nearer and nearer. The groom’s party was dancing — -(not the frenzied dancing our delhi baraati’s display- with sweat pouring down their faces and wet armpits showing) but nevertheless a spirited dancing with much waving of hands in the air.
The groom demanded his fatherin law and mother in law to be –dance with him before he agrees to come in. They of course oblige. Now we see the groom too (I think the groom should always come on a horse — at least he is visible from afar !!) it was a day wedding so the entire party was in dark glasses — anyway they enter and reach the pandal (Here too the sense of punctuality was maintained as the bride’s dad had requested the groom reach pandal at a set time- which he did).
The pandal:- An elaborate one- huge enough to seat 10 -12 chairs in length and breadth. There are two cushioned sofas next to each other and two fancy metallic chairs facing each other with two regular chairs behind them. Well the brides parents come and sit on the plush sofa chairs and the groom sits on one of the metal chairs- two of his friends/ brothers sit behind him. the groom’s parents join the other onlookers on the periphery.
The parents welcome their to be son in law and pandits intone God for his well being and etc etc — boring stuff. His parents are sitting as spectators with all of us. Finally dad-in-law washed son-in-law’s feet and then a curtain is held up in front of him end to end. The brides parents then get up — facing each other while pandits sing mantra they exchange garlands.. apparently authenticating their right to give away their daughter. Well that was different.
Suddenly there is a huge fan fare and band baaja is heard — — it is the bride coming with her own “baraat” surrounded by dancing brothers and sisters she slowly enters the pandal accompanied by the paunjabi bhangra walas beating their drums. Gujratis are surely an equal opportunity / importance for sexes society.
Well she comes and sits in the chair opposite the groom — they hold hands while pandits chant some more . then a fire is built and the brides parent leave the pandal and a whole huge group of youngsters come from all directions. Well it is phera time and the couple takes their pheras- encouraged by friends and siblings. At each phera the brother of the bride tries to catch the big toe of the groom ( who obviously tries to hide it )- and demands payment for letting his sister get married . 7 times he demands and 7 times he is appeased- amidst great cheers and shouts. Till the couple complete their 7 pheras and collapse thankfully on the two sofa chairs — now placed side by side.
Then the bride is told about her vows to look after and accept the new family and its traditions she is entering and then her mom in law comes does her “ shringar’ gives her a heavy sari, jewellery and accepts her into the family. And the wedding is done.
While all this was happening –there were fun and games arranged for the kids who were happily occupied playing passing the parcel and dancing in a corner — -a live band was crooning soft Bollywood numbers, space was huge and despite the large crowds assembled did not feel crowded and the food was elaborate- with cuisine varying from south Indian to amritsari kulcha to gujrati to north indian to Italian. All of excellent taste- tho’ naturally vegetarian. An interesting sweet dish was phirni with fresh coconut (something I will try at home) — so good fun all in all
Back to Gujarat that we saw:
an interesting evening market called the Law Garden — a mile long market on the pavements along a main road. Glittering stalls selling fabric, blouses, saris, cushions and bedspreads with the exotic embroidery from the Kutch and Saurastra regions and of course the ever present food stalls.Lets saw a mini and compacted Jan path market. a note of caution — do not get taken in by prices quoted — quoted prices at times are thrice the amount at which they may sometimes sell!!
Adalaj ne vaav–
a beautiful stepwell an hours drive away from Ahmedabad city. A beautifully carved out stepwell five storeys deep. The vaav (stonewell) was built with a soft stone,(looked like sandstone) and despite being so very old (was built in the 15th Century)
the carving is impressively well preserved. A nice local spot that should be seen
Shops: while it is common to have apparel stores for ladies and kids it is rare to see a well appointed, spoiled for choice and type of apparel in a wide varietyu for MEN. BLUE JADE stores in Ahmedabad (also in Hyderabad and other southern cities) is a must visit store for Men- specially if they are looking for interesting and affordable Ethnic attire ( tho’ the other apparel types were there in plenty as well) the inventory was much better than what we see in the Delhi stores.